We often tell ourselves (and others) that we are doing “good,” but what does that actually mean? We outwardly act as if everything is perfect in order to save ourselves the trouble of having to let others into our personal life. When asked how we are, our default response is always “good” or “fine” because we don’t want to trouble others with the details of how we might not be happy.
…OR IS IT MORE SO DUE TO US NOT WANTING TO COME FACE TO FACE WITH OUR OWN PROBLEMS?
The moment that we admit that something is not quite right, then there is something that we actually have to work on. Why are we so afraid of admitting our faults (even to ourselves) when that is actually the only way we can start to fix things? Something feeling off is not a sign of something being broken and unable to be fixed. Something feeling off is a sign that there is progress to be made!
- When we are hungry—> WE NEED FOOD
- When we are thirsty—> WE NEED WATER
- When we are cold—> WE NEED WARMTH
- When we are hot—> WE NEED TO COOL OFF
- When we are tired—> WE NEED REST
We don’t see these things as problems because we know how to fix them. We were taught how to fix them at a very young age (hopefully). The problem that we encounter is when we start to realize that we are not happy… many of us weren’t taught how to find our own happiness because, for plenty of us, it was not properly modeled.
So how do we figure this out?
Realize your worth and the things that you feel are worth it.
STEP 1: Figure out what YOUR values are.
What are the areas that you hold as important in your life? What are the traits that you would like others to see in you when they interact with you? What type of person would you like to be known as?
In the field that I work in, I tend to give individuals a set of cards describing multiple values and ask them to choose their top 3 that they feel are most important to them. Most people have trouble narrowing down everything to 3, especially when they are choosing between any of the following:
…and so many more.
I feel that this is something that we should all really focus on and be knowledgeable about what is most important to us as individuals.
What would matter to you if no one else was around?
What would matter to you if no one else was involved/affected?
I feel that this is sometimes the tricky part because, at points, we end up choosing the things that we involve ourselves in due to the wants of others and not our own.
When referring to our own happiness, IT’S THE TIME TO BE SELFISH.
So, what are the things most valuable to you?
STEP 2: Figure out how you would personally apply those values.
Do you currently see how the values that you chose fit into your life? Or do you see how they could more so?
Choose an area of your life in which you could more so exhibit your chosen values. Make it specific so that you could literally close your eyes and see how this would look once you implement it.
If need be, break this down into smaller steps. Most of the time we will need to do this in order to get to where we want to be. Don’t overwhelm yourself with a lofty goal. Allow yourself to see everything as a process.
Taking small steps is always better than taking no steps at all.
What are your steps?
How can you stay consistent with them?
Do you anticipate there being any obstacles?
STEP 3: Take those steps.
Our mind can be the most beautiful and also the most dangerous thing that we possess.
We constantly have ideas coming in that could completely change our lives for the better, but we also constantly seem to come up with reasons as to why those ideas wouldn’t work.
I don’t recall having that much trouble as a child when taking on any task. When we are children, we just always see ourselves as capable of it all… when do we lose that though?
I’m sure we all have seen children learning to walk, talk, and finally getting potty trained. We see them constantly “fail” at it… but then they eventually get it. They keep trying until they do.They know no sense of defeat. They just know, they’re getting closer to it every time that they fall short.
The only time we actually fail is the moment we choose to stop trying… or to not try at all.
Even when we don’t get things quite right, at least we gathered more information regarding what will eventually be more right next time. We know to do things differently from then on. The important thing is to use the information that we obtain. Make changes instead of doing the same thing, the same way, and getting the same results every time.
Make sure to acknowledge progress, no matter how small it may be… PROGRESS IS PROGRESS.
What are the values that mean most to you as an individual?
How do you/can you exhibit those values in your life?
What steps can you take in order to more so exhibit those values?
How can you overcome the obstacles that might keep you from taking those steps?
LEAVE YOUR ANSWERS IN THE COMMENTS.
Join me on this journey,