3 Steps To Love in 2018.

THE PROBLEM:

What exactly is the problem with love?

It’s one of the main forces that drive us as we move through life. Yet somehow we spend most of our adult lives trying to figure out how to love and be loved.

And yes, both are necessary.

We grow up with different ideas constantly thrown at us about what love should be. We see it on our television and movies, we hear about it in our music, we read about in our literature… I think it’s safe to say that humans have been obsessed with the subject since the beginning of time.

Obsessed, but also oblivious at times.

We have even gone as far as to figure out formulas, tests, and charts that might get us closer to cracking the code, but things fail regardless of how “compatible” people might initially be. Now, to top it all off, we have added social media and constant unrealistic comparisons/expectations to the non-existent equation that we have come to call “love.”

We have a stream of constant “picture perfect” data fed to us from all social media platforms and most of our social interactions as well. People try to put their best foot forward when in public and because everyone else is doing it too, no one really thinks that people have arguments or struggles like they do. We feel alone when we have disagreements and therefore our fuses are shorter, we blow up in ways that make matters worse, and we cease to see the point in continuing to choose them.

Or we can do the opposite (and possibly the most damaging) by actually disregarding the constant fights and lack of trust/respect because we romanticise the momentary good that we experience. We live through the experiences that we post on social media or when we are out in public and fail to acknowledge the wounds that never even begin to get a chance to heal prior to the next damaging outburst.

We stay in damaging relationships for far too long because we are afraid to be alone… only to realize that the longer we stay, the harder it also becomes to heal from the trauma that is caused. We get in relationships that will distract us from the healing process… we take them on as projects, but then we realize that we are now the one causing the trauma to someone else due to the pain that we still experience.

It’s a vicious cycle of pull and push, and we want what we cant have.

When we have something good, we don’t want it because we find something to miss… we can always find something more to want. When we have something bad, we just can’t seem to give up because we have to convince them of our worth before we go (and rarely will you).

We base things on the superficial and on the temporary. We look with our eyes, but not with our hearts… and much less our minds.

So where do we go from here?… when it seems like all the odds are stacked up against us.

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3 Steps To Happiness.

THE PROBLEM:

We often tell ourselves (and others) that we are doing “good,” but what does that actually mean? We outwardly act as if everything is perfect in order to save ourselves the trouble of having to let others into our personal life. When asked how we are, our default response is always “good” or “fine” because we don’t want to trouble others with the details of how we might not be happy.

…OR IS IT MORE SO DUE TO US NOT WANTING TO COME FACE TO FACE WITH OUR OWN PROBLEMS?

The moment that we admit that something is not quite right, then there is something that we actually have to work on. Why are we so afraid of admitting our faults (even to ourselves) when that is actually the only way we can start to fix things? Something feeling off is not a sign of something being broken and unable to be fixed. Something feeling off is a sign that there is progress to be made!

  • When we are hungry—> WE NEED FOOD
  • When we are thirsty—> WE NEED WATER
  • When we are cold—> WE NEED WARMTH
  • When we are hot—> WE NEED TO COOL OFF
  • When we are tired—> WE NEED REST

We don’t see these things as problems because we know how to fix them. We were taught how to fix them at a very young age (hopefully). The problem that we encounter is when we start to realize that we are not happy… many of us weren’t taught how to find our own happiness because, for plenty of us, it was not properly modeled.

So how do we figure this out?

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The 3 Steps To Get What You Want.

THE PROBLEM:

Did your first second of consciousness for the day involve struggling to reach over and snooze an alarm? Did you lay there with the lights off and your eyes closed, hoping that somehow the next 9 minutes lasted an extra hour instead?

I think the majority of us are guilty of this on a way too frequent basis.

We go to sleep too late because we are up doing things that have no real benefit when it comes to our long-term goals. We spend hours mindlessly distracted from actually living life. We fool ourselves into thinking that we are “relaxing” and “taking a break” when in reality, we are just making things harder for ourselves in the long run. We consistently settle for less or “good enough” with the hope that one day we will get what we think we deserve… but how will we actually get there if the time that we could dedicate to taking the necessary steps is used for “taking a break” instead.

THAT IS HOW WE REMAIN STUCK IN MEDIOCRE.

Time slips through our fingers so easily. The older we get, the faster it goes. Yet we constantly tell ourselves that we have all the time in the world. We try to distract ourselves with one thing or another in order to make ourselves feel better about the lack of progress that we make. We constantly strive to find ways in which we can close our eyes to the things that would otherwise force us to finally move.

We are uncomfortable when we are unhappy, but if we consistently distract ourselves from the discomfort we should feel, WE WILL NEVER DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE IT.

For most, if we continued doing what we do every single day… we would still be doing that same thing, in the same place, feeling the same way 10 years from now.

So how do we get what we want?

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